You're made of my rib oh baby
You're made of my sin
And I cant tell where your lust ends and where your love begins
I didn't want to hurt you baby
I didn't want to hurt you
I didn't want to hurt you but you're pretty when you cry
And the moon gives me permission and I enter through her eyes
She's losing her virginity and all her will to compromise
I didn't want to hurt you baby
I didn't want to hurt you
I didn't want to hurt you but you're pretty when you cry
I didn't want to fuck you baby
I didn't want to fuck you
I didn't want to fuck you but you're pretty when you're mine
I didn't really love you baby
I didn't really love you
I didn't really love you but I'm pretty when I lie
You hurt me baby
I hurt you baby
(How can you do this to me now?)
(How can you do this to me now?)
If you knew how much I love you, you would run away
(How can you do this to me now?)
But when I treat you bad it always makes you want to stay
(How can you do this to me now?)
I didn't want to hurt you baby
I didn't want to hurt you baby
I didn't want to hurt you baby
I didn't want to hurt you baby
(How can you do this to me now?)
(How can you do this to me now?)
(How can you do this to me now?)
(How can you do this to me now?)

Breathe me every time you close your eyes
Taste me every time you cry
This memory will fade away and die
Just for today, breathe me and say goodbye

How many times? How many times?
Now I can't look you in the eye
Now I can't look you in the eye
How many times?! How many times?!
Now I can't look you in the eye

See me, in the eyes of another's child
Turn away, when you see me walking by
Once in a while
This melody will fade away and die
Just for today, breathe me and say goodbye

How many times? How many times?
Now I can't look you in the eye
Now I can't look you in the eye
How many times? How many times?
Now I can't look you in the eye

And I don't even want to try
My my
'Cause every word from you is a lie
My my

How many times? How many times?
Now I can't look you in the eye
Now I can't look you in the eye
How many times? How many times?
Now I can't look you in the eye


This song has been stuck in my head a while now.

I really have no idea who I am, who anyone thinks I am, or even who I want to be.

I'm sure that this is a normal feeling to be totally at odds with oneself but now and then it overwhelms me and I just really wish someone would tell me what to feel. I have no idea how I feel about anything, it changes every day or even hour or minute. I never know what my opinion will be in time and so I try to never form any.

It's absurd that anyone could think that they know me when I don't even know myself. Maybe you think you do but I'm sure everyone at some point realises that I am not who I seem and not worth the effort.

I told them all, so many times.

I told you, I fucking told you.

I TOLD you I was no good.

But no you choose to see the 'good' in me but you know what? No part of me is real. None of it. All of it is just games I play. I have favourite ways to act and fool on you for loving any of them.

I don't think I'll ever know exactly who I am or  who I want to be, because I have no concept of knowing who the hell that might be.

It's funny people don't believe me that I have no goals or hopes all I do is go along with whatever happens I just go with the flow and see where I end up. I've never made any real choice just taken the easy way out just to see what will happen. Some things you can't undo and I lost the only person I might have ever cared about. I'm not sure really but I know he loved who he thought I was and that was nice. It really was. And he seemed to understand me somehow even though he never knew me. No one does. I don't think anyone ever will.

And I really, can't be bothered to care.

About anything.

But I still miss you